Leave a Message at Which Beep?

--dramatization of a true story from the IP studio--

I hate leaving voice-mails on the telephone. Something about rambling into dead silence for thirty seconds without pausing or sounding awkward or rambly gets to me. Every time.
But the person whose call I was returning was not on the line, so I had to leave a message for them.
"Blankety-blank is not available. Please leave a message after the beep."
Beep!
"Hello, this is Monkey # 5 from Improv Playhou--"
Beep! Apparently the phone didn't like that introduction, so it gave me take two. Which really threw me off.
"Uh, hello? This is Monkey # 5 from Improv Playhouse. We received a--"
Beep!
I must have stopped talking for a good ten seconds there as I tried to figure out what the heck was going on. "Excuse me, it seems we're having phone difficulty. Anyway--"
Beep!
"Oh, for the love of Pete!" I hung up. That was it. No more for me. I'm done.

As it happens, somebody important was calling in on the other line, and that was the "call waiting" tone I was hearing. It was just the black humor of the telephone company that the "start talking" and "call waiting" tones were the same sound.

I called the telephone company to give them a stern talking-to. I got an answering machine.

--Monkey # 5 & Tony